Hi! I have been having this craving for love (as I though) but I knew that its not that simple as I already have so much love within me. So I figured out that indeed it is not a craving for love, love is omnipresent, its just everywhere and its indifferentiable, there are no types (no love for romantic, platonic, self, nature, whatever) - its just whole and unite. The unconditional love. Its just that in relationships we mistake others parts of the relationship for love, or more like we link them together and forget that its not the same thing.
When it comes to romantic relationships with partners most often there is also a space for passion and intimacy. These are not love, these are their own things. However, they contribute to relationships with a partner. How to tell if you actually love the person or the relationship is more of a source for passion and intimacy? Ask yourself “Would I still love this person if there wouldn't be passion and frequent intimacy between us?”. Intimacy doesn’t refer purely to sex, it is also emotional. You can think of being intimate as getting naked, either physically or metaphorically. When we are naked we open up our most vulnerable sides, complete unshielded, just the way we are with no built up constraints.
And often this is what we are lacking. That sense of being completely seen, just the way you are.
When it comes to romantic relationships with partners most often there is also a space for passion and intimacy. These are not love, these are their own things. However, they contribute to relationships with a partner. How to tell if you actually love the person or the relationship is more of a source for passion and intimacy? Ask yourself “Would I still love this person if there wouldn't be passion and frequent intimacy between us?”. Intimacy doesn’t refer purely to sex, it is also emotional. You can think of being intimate as getting naked, either physically or metaphorically. When we are naked we open up our most vulnerable sides, complete unshielded, just the way we are with no built up constraints.
And often this is what we are lacking. That sense of being completely seen, just the way you are.
This is why we might start to experience a longing for “loving relationship” which is actually just a longing for being seen and being yourself. The longing for finally taking of all the armor that we have to wear in our daily lives when we go to work, school, parties, as to keep ourselves safe (and this is completely normal, you always must be careful with fragile objects or they might just simply shatter).
Then the biggest question is so what can I do if I am craving the intimacy? I don’t want to start a relationship based on a need, then there can’t be love within the relationships because they already have been conditioned. And love is unconditional, it just is there. As soon as there is a dependency on each other - love dissipates.
That's why first it is necessary to satisfy our personal needs by ourselves before we jump into a relationship. Think of it as investment in not only yourself but the whole World because you are creating more love within it. The more love within you - the more love in the Universe. It is the true Cosmic Good.
I must say I am yet to learn about how to satisfy the need for intimacy without a relationship. It is a new concept, unexplored territory. Most likely, I have been doing it unconsciously before but now I commit to learning about intimacy with self, not only learning but also experiencing.
That's why first it is necessary to satisfy our personal needs by ourselves before we jump into a relationship. Think of it as investment in not only yourself but the whole World because you are creating more love within it. The more love within you - the more love in the Universe. It is the true Cosmic Good.
I must say I am yet to learn about how to satisfy the need for intimacy without a relationship. It is a new concept, unexplored territory. Most likely, I have been doing it unconsciously before but now I commit to learning about intimacy with self, not only learning but also experiencing.
A simple google search puts it really nicely,“Self intimacy is connecting with your inner self. It involves peeling off layers of your outer defenses to get to the core of who you are, sans all the artifice”. Funnily enough it is also linked with self-love as it teaches you how to love yourself unconditionally - no matter of your social performance, looks and achievements. The first thing they suggest is actually journaling your feeling, your life - talking about it with yourself, making it known and seen. That's exactly what I am doing right now, and let me tell you it is working. Its so interesting that our brain really doesn’t care who see us, it can be just yourself and it will work in exactly the same way.
Another thing I never thought about, is considering what activities I associate with romantic relationships - what do I link to that feeling of intimacy. And then actually doing these activities with myself or maybe even a close friend if they are up for deeper experiences not just having fun. For me, I really love going on dates to the cinema, it creates a meaningful connection with the person through common experience. Then it’s also about laying in bed together and simply talking or reading our own things (actually I never lay in bed alone…. Only for sleep… Need to change that). Going top cafes to get some Matcha or Chai Latte! That’s my absolute favorite! Driving in a car for road trips - amazing but I don’t have a car right now, this one have to skip. Telling how your day went. That’s a small thing but makes so much connection. I can do that with myself easily! Will start today. And also I feel like its about creating something together with your hands, it can be assembling furniture but also creative hobbies like art, jewelry, pottery, whatever. Haven’t done it in a while, setting myself time for doing this exact thing.
Another thing I never thought about, is considering what activities I associate with romantic relationships - what do I link to that feeling of intimacy. And then actually doing these activities with myself or maybe even a close friend if they are up for deeper experiences not just having fun. For me, I really love going on dates to the cinema, it creates a meaningful connection with the person through common experience. Then it’s also about laying in bed together and simply talking or reading our own things (actually I never lay in bed alone…. Only for sleep… Need to change that). Going top cafes to get some Matcha or Chai Latte! That’s my absolute favorite! Driving in a car for road trips - amazing but I don’t have a car right now, this one have to skip. Telling how your day went. That’s a small thing but makes so much connection. I can do that with myself easily! Will start today. And also I feel like its about creating something together with your hands, it can be assembling furniture but also creative hobbies like art, jewelry, pottery, whatever. Haven’t done it in a while, setting myself time for doing this exact thing.
Woah, what a journey of revelations. And it only marks the starting point, I wonder where it takes me, I feel like its a right step.
Also I really feel that someone could use these meditations for their own self-discivery and healing. Therefore, I am also making it available to whoever is interested and wants to discover more about love and intimacy. May this find the ones who need to hear this.
Also I really feel that someone could use these meditations for their own self-discivery and healing. Therefore, I am also making it available to whoever is interested and wants to discover more about love and intimacy. May this find the ones who need to hear this.
I love you.
